Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Marriage is not a #trend

     Marriage is not a trend. Its not like having a nose ring, or hightop skirt, or peplum blouse, or red bottom shoes to show off with for a short time and then you move on to the next high fashion item once that trend ends. A wedding is a very tiny part of your marriage. You get ooohs and ahhhhhs for a couple of hours and you are left alone after the celebrations to put in the work required to make it work. After you have stayed in the limelight for a while and you cannot keep up with the "trend" things start falling apart. Then you realize you need more than, a super fancy wedding, nice body type, career status, family status, a child (yes a child)  and more to be married. It requires 2 people who have been ordained by God and who are willing to put in 200 percent of what it takes to keep going. Finding time for each other, staying true to oneself, Loving them through hell, accepting that you are both imperfect, being able to compromise, loosing a couple of friends along the way, dealing with intruders, and more. I mean its a constant job. Imagine being with someone who doesn't understand what it takes to be married. Its a nightmare being in a marriage by yourself (yes some people are in it all by themselves and thats a post for another day ... ) working hard to keep the outside appealing and slowly dying on the inside.

   Lets not look at the outside of our friends, neighbors, "facebookers", "social media elites", and all the "well packaged weddings"  and get eager to jump into marriage with just with anyone. Unfortunately a lot of pressure is placed on unmarried folk by their family and society. No one is less of a person because they are single. Lets give everyone a chance to find the person that is right for them and not the person that can fit into the picture at that given time.

  And to you my married folk, keep building, loving, forgiving, compromising and staying strong, remember that you are both to bring out only the absolute best of each other, trusting God to Lead and guide you.

  And to you my single parents, don't let anyone tell you that you are any less of a parent/person because you are not married. You are not your children's parent by chance. You were chosen specifically by God to be the parent of this child. If Marriage is in your future it will come to pass. No one is equipped to pass any judgement on you!

   Marriage can be beautiful when you both understand that its not a field trip or internship, and you are ready to bring out the best in each other regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in.

Cheers to the New month.
Let No mami pikin be left behind. Marriage is not a trend. Its a lifetime commitment that requires constant work done with love and dedication.

Muah.

4 comments:

  1. Thank you for being honest about marriage and encouraging singles. I think we, that come from a non-Western family, receive significant pressure to get married, especially the women.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for being honest about marriage and encouraging singles. I think we, that come from a non-Western family, receive significant pressure to get married, especially the women.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG!! I love this piece of work. It is very consoling

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good piece👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽.Hopefully this will save a few or if not many from such mistakes. Marriage is a classroom, some dull moments, some smart moments, some tiring moments, and some hopeful moments, you repeat, you move on,you take first some take last,you change teachers and you change textbooks and school. Each classroom is different from the next. Its just a learning process and if you are not willing to learn and put in the night hours of studying- you fail. Hope comes in for some with a piece like this! Hopefull this is someone's HOPE

    ReplyDelete

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