Your Outside versus the truth

    You are Gods masterpiece. Looked in the mirror last night after my shower and smiled at how much I had changed physically and how it no longer bothered me. I smile because i have understood that this type of physical change is part of my journey, and i know i always can bounce back  my sexy momma days haha. 
  Then I thought about my environment/society and how we focus so much on the outside, and are really dying on the inside. Its easy to focus on the physical to avoid how much is going on inside of you. I realize that we are broken on the inside about a list  of insecurities and yet spend thousands of dollars working on the outside. 

      A broken woman needs professional help. There is no amount of shopping, sex, alcohol, gossip, lies, etc and all the other distractions that can fix a broken woman. We must be able to admit that we are broken on the inside and seek help to solve the root of the problem. Prayers, counseling, change of friends, and a great deal of self confidence is a starting point. Don't live "half a life" because you seem to be doing great on the outside and dying on the inside. 

  Did I mention that a man cant fix whats broken on your inside? if you have issues you need to work on your issues. Unless this man is your therapist he is not equipped to handle the task at hand. Look at your self in the mirror, no not the mirror on the wall, the inner mirror and start working from the inside out. 

Let nomamipikin be caught up on working on the outside with an inside that no one will want to take a peek at. Seek professional help, your church, local women's help support groups, counseling, and more. Its not telling your business its getting the help you need so you can be a better mother, sister, wife, daughter, and more. Its giving yourself the first class treatment you deserve. 

Love you all. 
Kisses

"No Mami Pikin Left Behind"

 
     The dishes can wait, the laundry can wait, the ironing, folding, putting away and sorting can wait. Today everything was put on hold and we  gave ourselves a mandatory "timeout" for this amazing photo shoot by http://drevizionmedia.com/ who captured every moment beyond perfect. I wanted to celebrate my fourth pregnancy in a way that was enjoyable contrary to what society thinks it should be the fourth time around, as if to say one child was more important than the other. The shirts were an affirmation that this is a new day for my sister Fri and I. My favorite observation lately is catching the general discomfort when I tell someone I am having my fourth child. I laugh on the inside as they struggle with their thoughts on how to respond since they have chosen to become the God of all mothers. 

 "Do not live for the opinions of others, you will die in that same manner."

   "nomamipikinleftbehind"
 No mother will be left out of the fun times happening in today's world, we wont be under-looked, misunderstood and misjudged.We are saying that there's life left in us, Post stretchmarks, back-pain, painful labor, weight-gain, life-changing labor pain, financial changes, emotional and physical changes, and a lot more.You must create time to live a little. Every mother must create time for a "breather". Your children deserve a mother who is all-encompassing. 
 

 

 

Let no mami pikin be left behind! Celebrate motherhood.



Photography credit: Drevizion Photography 
www.drevizionmedia.com
All photos are property of DREVIZION Photography.
email: drevizion@gmail.com
Phone: 301.905.7444

KISSES.....

What do you call yourself?

Yay its Friday.
So when I started this blog I thought it will be for mothers only, little did I know that it will be a place to share with everyone. I still love my mamipikins a little extra don't get it wrong now :) but I am hoping that every reader is blessed by each post I share❤️.

    So I am looking through my timeline/newsfeed of life and I really cannot help but wonder why we choose the most ridiculous/sad/disappointing/  nicknames for ourselves and will sometimes have the nerve to use them as our preferred titles. I wonder if we realize that we are being labelled by a 30year old negative story because thats all we have portrayed. We settle in a negative circumstance and give room to small minded folk who are dealing with their own self esteem issues to ridicule us!


  You cannot be labelled by your current circumstance. There is YOU and then there is your current circumstance (which is almost always temporary). People can feel the energy around what you call yourself, if you decide to stay defeated, then every time they refer to you they do so in reference to defeat.How dare you accept to be called anything but "overcomer", "favor", "go getter", etc? A parent who cannot separate themselves from their current misfortune will see the worst in everything around them including their children.

   Get out of the funk and call yourself victorious. Look at the winner in you, look at the woman who overcame bullying, look at the single mother who is able to balance a career and raise kids,look at YOU! Take a look at all the good that has come out of you.


   Let nomamipikin live in her sad past, when you decide to call yourself any name whatsoever, make sure its nothing but strong and positive and the world will follow your lead.



Kisses.

Your story Vs my story...

   Your story Vs my story...
Your story is your testimony. People may interpret it wrongly, question it, tell it lopsided, change it, and sometimes attempt to tear you down for it, but at the end of the day if you have already owned your story no one has any power over you.

   I want to be able to live every moment in confidence that my story is a part of the journey that God has planned for me. Don't let the wrong version of YOUR STORY being told stop you from walking with your head held high. What l tell women today is to stand tall and tell their own story, tell it as it is. Own it and learn from the mistakes, share it with those who can learn a thing or two from it. Do not focus on retelling it to please the world. Once you are transparent you can never be hurt by other peoples small minded opinions. You begin to exude great self confidence that no one can break.

(Birthday celebration. Outfit #2 April 2014) 

                      

     Be in control of your story. Once you understand that its part of your journey no one can have control over you and your past anymore. Let Nomamipikin be left behind!

Just thought I will share my 2:30am thoughts...

Enjoy the rest of your week.
Kisses,

Support System ...

   
  Nomamipikinleftbehind! Ahhhh I was this close to being left behind this month. I have been MIA and I promise its been unavoidable. I hope all you fabulous mamas have not been left behind!

       This entire month I have been writing down notes to myself about the importance of a solid support system. As I look back  about 7 years ago when i had my first child I realize that many people have come and gone but there are a handful of people who never disappoint. I started asking other mother questions like; Do you have a solid, sure, steady, guaranteed support system? Do you have definite solid friendships that you can rely on if you are in dire need of support?  Most of the mothers around me nodded yes and one consistent answer was; "well people come and go and you cant trust anyone". Most of their answers were pretty consistent.


A great part of my support system together in prayer

      Now I decided that I will share about the importance of having a solid support system not only as a mother but in general. You must be able to identify those people who remain consistent in your life and vice versa. Those people who don't wait for you to fall before you picking you up but caution you about the pit ahead of the road, these are the people who need to remain in your inner circle and support system. Those people who can be HONEST without being judgmental. YOU are a great part of your support system as well. You have to be able to give as much as you expect out of anybody or more. You cannot expect to have a solid support system if you are not a consistent and reliable friend.

   Nobody can function without the support of another human being, it usually has very little to do with financial support and more with emotional support. Its about having your own team, a set of people who will pick up after you and you after them. Those people who are undeniably part of your family, No matter how bad it is they will never hurt you and neither will you. The very people who are there for your kids without any questions. The few who will loose a couple of days at work to help with your children. Those few who understand that as a mother you may need a break and offer babysitting. You dont need to talk to them everyday but you know in your heart they are on your side.

     
    As a mother if I did not have an incredible support system I will have lost it years ago.  Remember YOU are a big part of the support system. Stay consistent and build strong and healthy relationships. Everyone needs a great support system, let them feel appreciated and don't abuse them.

Kisses,



Tear down the box ...

     Today's society :We are not allowed to take chances, try new things, make mistakes, change our minds, start something new, start a new business, ignore a trend, love out loud, fall in and out of love, have any fun, change your mind, and a whole lot more. Society does not want you to LIVE! Who makes all the rules? Are they following these rules?  How can you explain that being yourself has suddenly become a crime? 

      There was a time when the mere thought of living outside the box and taking chances scared me to death.  At this same time I was not able to run my business as I had envisioned  because I  was using society's manual. I worried about what "people" will say or think, I had ideas that I will share and will immediately get reminded that those ideas could never work. I will wait for society's approval. Recently I realized that I was not like everyone else, I realized that my purpose did not need anyone's approval. Your vision and purpose is way bigger than your immediate surroundings and or community. Being able to tear-down the "boxed in mentality" will open unimaginable doors. 

      As mothers we are more than equipped to be the best at what we choose to do. We have been equipped with patience, tolerance, and a high talent of multitasking. Do not live in a box, tear down that box and take a chance. The first step is to believe that there is always an untouched opportunity waiting for you on the outside of the box. A well balanced mother raises a well balanced child, mentally, physically and emotionally. The moment you can be your own true self is the only time you can start living a full life. 

In other news!
I am starting a campaign " Give my husband back campaign".  This kid thinks she can just sneak in-between us every time we manage to escape to get some "US" time. What are they smiling about anyways?

Kisses :) 

Pray more and say less . . .

    Its a beautiful Saturday morning and I let the kids sleep later than their regular bedtime so I could guarantee myself this 45mins of quiet before our regular Saturday morning madness. So it hit me last night that we spend an awful lot of time complaining about every single thing in life. We complain about the weather, our jobs, our partners, our friends, our food, America, our children, I mean every time we open our mouths we forget that we still have breath and that's a lot to be thankful for. 

     Now for the sake of this blog #nomamipikinleftbehind I am going to stop and ask myself why we constantly complain about our spouses/partners/friends/father of our children/co-parent (what ever title you call them) to every single one that has an ear? we have an issue and we never pray about it? for some mad reason the devil has played a trick on our mindset that you should share the problem and its half solved DEAD WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now i am not saying that there aren't a couple of people who can give you genuine advice but the very first step is PRAYER. If you are calling your sister to join you in prayer then you might be a little bit better off. If its to lay it all out, you are not solving the problem my darling. You pray for the type of co-parent you want. You pray for his job, his friends, his enemies, his coworkers, i mean you have to take charge of the other part of your child's life. Every man that is around your children pours into them, so its your responsibility instead of having a chain of complaints, to shut that door and get down on your knees. I have been there because i met my (husband today) at 19 and will get a little frustrated being very young and made the mistake of leaning on what i now called "loose advice" or "advice without a purpose" or " Personal interest advice" and that was no good for our growth. Spiritual growth strengthens all relationships. We don't serve a deaf God. Everything works according to his plan.

Sometime ago ( 2004/2005 )

Today  :)

    I bring this up because as mothers we must choose happiness. Some women have declared themselves so unhappy that they will not stop for tea, they wont stop for brunch, the have decided that they have it so bad that they will no longer live Life  but focus on complaining on how bad it is. Don't be that woman, Life will pass you by. Don't be the woman who wont pray but chooses to worry. When you miss out on the little things that make you happy, you are not going to be a complete woman and that in itself is a problem. The fact of the matter is we drive these men up the wall as well but they still continue to live a full life. Men have figured out that life wont pass them by, that the football match cannot be put on hold because his wife is acting up, that the world cup only comes every 4 years so he must choose happiness and enjoy this moment.

    Choose happiness, tell yourself that you wont play God in your life. You will make room for God in your life so that you can live again.

Stanley Ebai Enow is a Cameroonian rapper, radio and TV presenter, voice actor, and co-owner of the record label Motherland Empire.He is best known for his 2013 single "Hein Père". By getting nominated and subsequently winning the Best New Act category at the 2014 MTV Africa Music Awards, Enow became the first Cameroonian to achieve this feat.(Wikipedia)
^{(  In the Spirit of living a little i screamed my head off at his last concert in Silver Spring MD )}

kisses:)

Unattainable expectations

   So i started writing this post on monday (last  monday) but could not come up with a title. Its as simple as that, this morning i woke up and "unattainable expectations" summed it up.
     
      We cannot expect everyone to think and act like  us. It has taken me well over twenty years to learn that.To put it simply "expect very little". My husband spent the last seven or more years telling me this. He will constantly  remind me that i set extremely high expectations for people and that i was setting my self up to get really upset at the end of the day. If you are like me i tend to love, give, and sacrifice without any boundaries, and lived all this while thinking that everybody else had to be the same. Truth is i was setting my self up for heart break. I cannot even begin to tell you how that ruins so many things for you.The fact is there is only one you for a particular reason and purpose. Nobody will act, think, or react like you. Its normal to expect good from people, but thats not a guarantee because again not everyone can think and act like you. If you usually do things a certain way and expect the same from everyone, you will end up extremely frustrated. Do good because its the right thing to do. Do not wait for applause and recognition, do not stop doing the right thing because you never get recognition and a standing ovation.

   The least you expect out of man, the better for you. Nobody owes you anything, Set yourself free from the bondage of blame. Don't build unattainable expectations for anyone.Put all your trust and expectations in God and leave it at that.

   As mothers, the less we have to worry about about issues out of raising strong well grounded kids the better.  The only teachable people in your life are  your children, ( well the people you have the opportunity to guide closely and teach them right from wrong ) be a mother who teaches  about gratitude in a way that doesnt require a strong set of rules, let gratitude and a willing heart to do good to others be part of your everyday life. No mamipikin should be locked in the bondage of blame.


   My five year old son asked me the other day if i could bake pie, and some other complex desserts, when i did not respond he simply smiled and said " or we can just buy it from giant " hahaaaa thank God for wisdom. Thats exactly where it will be coming from.


Keep smiling,
Kisses.

Who are you fighting?

Who are you fighting? 
      
        Sometimes you are in a battle with the wrong opponent, throwing punches at the wrong opponent, getting ready for a match with the completely wrong opponent. 
Sometimes  you have got to put down the boxing gloves and ask yourself if you could be your own worst enemy. Put the gloves down and work on YOU! 

         Every choice you make has a consequence: friendships, relationships, and so on. You choose to let the wrong people around you and you will pay the consequence, you choose to love and you will get the reward, every single choice has a consequence. So before you pull out the gloves next time ask your self this question  " Who am i fighting? " 
      I say this to remind us that sometimes as mothers and because of how hectic it could be raising children in most cases without adequate help we turn to lash out on our innocent kids, spouses, siblings, coworkers,basically anybody who is in our immediate circle. We take out our issues on anyone that is available. We sulk about our mistakes and refuse to own up to them and consistently put up a fight with the wrong opponents.  

   I am learning that i must take responsibility for all my mistakes and learn from them so that i don't put up a fight with the wrong opponent anymore. I think thoroughly before making any decisions, i don't commit to tasks i cannot handle, i am extremely careful in making or keeping friendships, i do not compromise my faith and christian believes for any friendships and or relationships, and so many other changes i am working on personally. Its a personal journey and i only share because i know that other mamipikins face similar issues. 

What about if you are the problem?

Could it be you? 

Do you need a vacation? 

Do you need a break?  

Do you need a change of friendships?

Do you need a retreat?

Do you need to say a quick prayer? 

Do you need to apologize?

Do you need  to work on YOU?

     Let nomamipikin be caught in the wrong battles. It affects your ability to be a great parent when you refuse to take responsibility for your own actions. How then are you able to teach your children about integrity and honesty?

Kisses, 

Its a brand new day

      I am actually posting from my cell phone which i never do, but when something wakes you up and you cannot wait to share, its usually a sign that someone, somewhere needs this now! Or maybe I need this more, it could be for me. 

      When you understand your value, you will delete a row of numbers off your phone. Some people have mastered the art of reaping where they did not sow, don't be a victim. 

I talk about friendships, motherhood, eventplanning and business relationships because its what i completely understand. 

    Every relationship should have a base, what is it that brings you guys together? Is it YOUR IDEAS, money, "just hanging out", sex, gossip, christian values, common job, what is it??? Look through your innercircle and ask your self what brings me and X,Y,Z together? Is it worth it? Are we growing? Am i the problem? It may sound crazy but if you want real growth you must first get to the root of the problem. 

    Have a good morning and let #nomamipikinbeleftbehind in this issue of self and relationship improvement.

KISSES,

Sometimes the dishes can wait

Long over due post, I know.

    So i remember growing up and you could not go to sleep with a single dirty fork in the sink. Not in my mother or grandmothers house. But then growing up in Bamenda, Cameroon we had a full house of about 5 aunties, 4 uncles, 5 cousins and the list goes on. We had a full house of people so house chores went around pretty easy. Growing up in Cameroon i remember how my baby sister was passed around from hand to hand and then finally to my mother when she needed to eat. There was endless help.It was a community  effort. Now bring your self back to todays world. Today I live in Germantown, MD, with my husband and 3 children. Sometimes you get a visitor during the week and can sit down and have adult conversation (well typically for me its usually my sister in-law) and some people who have no family have adopted their neighbors who can sometimes give you that five minute break. Basically there is a little or no community involvement if you get my drift.

 I am talking to alot of mothers and the common gist is that we must learn to stop and take a breather, and yes that includes skipping a chore or two to get some well deserved rest. I used to think that i had to complete every single house chore/business meeting, and more or else i was not the ideal mother (by the way there is no such thing as the perfect mother) until i got to a point where i crashed. There is no specific schedule or task list that mothers must live by, the only requirement we have as mothers is to love our children unconditionally.

     I am able to tell every mother today that it is absolutely ok to stop when you feel like you cant continue. The dishes can wait, the laundry can wait, the ironing, folding, putting away and sorting can wait. I have crashed before and its not a feeling you want as a mother. You don't want to be told that you may not be here for your children tomorrow. Take that break and "let those dishes wait".

Pour yourself  a Glass of Wine and take a break. 

Let #nomamipikinbefleft behind.


Kisses and love.

WHO CARES?

    So i woke up this morning and all i can think about are the series of questions i get when i introduce my self to someone new and we discuss career choices. I have also been getting a host of emails from women who want to dive into entrepreneurship but are not quite sure if their immediate community will accept and or even support their particular service. It brought me to the question that I always ask every single person around me..WHO CARES???

        I ask this question and i mean it in every single sense of the phrase.  The first question you have to ask before talking yourself out of a perfectly good idea is " who really cares ? " who are those people that actually care about YOU and YOUR future? Who is ready to stop THEIR career choice that doesn't include "entrepreneurship" because of someone else's opinion of that particular job? Why should YOUR career choice be a debate? You cannot let fear kill your dreams, there is not enough fear in the world to talk me out of doing something that i know  i love and thats what keeps me going. It doesnt have to be entrepreneurship, that just happens to be my case.

      Remember that in order to be a great mother you cannot go into a job that drains you physically and emotionally. You cannot bring all the distress from your career into your home and expect to raise confident and well rounded children. Children learn what they live and not what you tell them, so before talking your self out of a perfectly great idea next time ask yourself  " WHO CARES ? "



let #NOMAMIPIKINBELEFTBEHIND in the area of having peace in their career choices.







Kisses and Love..

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My Sister my friend......

My sister and best friend. A mother at heart.

    It stormed, it hailed, hell there was fire rain but Fri never gave up, thats how you sort out the women from the girls. This is not just about a Masters degree graduation, its about setting a goal and following through despite what may come. Fri has understood that LIFE cannot come in the way of success because life happens all the time.She stands on Gods word and leans on family. I love you Boh, the world must know that you are an example of a woman who has set herself apart. 
You have been a mother to my children and the best sister i could ever ask for. You are a mother at heart and a great one too.

   I had my first child at 22 and Fri-Maikah ( my sister ) was only a baby then took on the role of mommy without any hesitation. My children are in perfect hands when they are in my sisters care. At a single phone call Fri drops everything and runs to my aid. She is my best friend and confidant. I listen to women complain about their sisters and it hurts my heart so much because your sister is more than a gift from God. You are supposed to stand by each other regardless of what may come.

" Typical Maikah at an event with all the kids "

   Every mother needs a great support system. My family is everything, we cry together laugh together and you cannot come between us. To raise strong balanced and level headed kids you need the support of your family.
My sister amongst my siblings plays a huge role in making sure this #mamipikin gets all the support she needs. I give God Glory for a sister like Fri. My fellow mamipikins, you dont need a host of inconsistent friendships, all the support you need starts with creating real bonds with your family.

Family is essential. I cannot say that enough.

This is exactly why they give out  graduation tickets..LOL..

( my siblings minus my eldest brother )

Let #nomamipikinbeleftbehind in the spirit of showing appreciation and Love.

Kisses,

( Please send in a story honoring someone who is a big part of your support system.
asherisevents@yahoo.com)