Pray more and say less . . .

    Its a beautiful Saturday morning and I let the kids sleep later than their regular bedtime so I could guarantee myself this 45mins of quiet before our regular Saturday morning madness. So it hit me last night that we spend an awful lot of time complaining about every single thing in life. We complain about the weather, our jobs, our partners, our friends, our food, America, our children, I mean every time we open our mouths we forget that we still have breath and that's a lot to be thankful for. 

     Now for the sake of this blog #nomamipikinleftbehind I am going to stop and ask myself why we constantly complain about our spouses/partners/friends/father of our children/co-parent (what ever title you call them) to every single one that has an ear? we have an issue and we never pray about it? for some mad reason the devil has played a trick on our mindset that you should share the problem and its half solved DEAD WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now i am not saying that there aren't a couple of people who can give you genuine advice but the very first step is PRAYER. If you are calling your sister to join you in prayer then you might be a little bit better off. If its to lay it all out, you are not solving the problem my darling. You pray for the type of co-parent you want. You pray for his job, his friends, his enemies, his coworkers, i mean you have to take charge of the other part of your child's life. Every man that is around your children pours into them, so its your responsibility instead of having a chain of complaints, to shut that door and get down on your knees. I have been there because i met my (husband today) at 19 and will get a little frustrated being very young and made the mistake of leaning on what i now called "loose advice" or "advice without a purpose" or " Personal interest advice" and that was no good for our growth. Spiritual growth strengthens all relationships. We don't serve a deaf God. Everything works according to his plan.

Sometime ago ( 2004/2005 )

Today  :)

    I bring this up because as mothers we must choose happiness. Some women have declared themselves so unhappy that they will not stop for tea, they wont stop for brunch, the have decided that they have it so bad that they will no longer live Life  but focus on complaining on how bad it is. Don't be that woman, Life will pass you by. Don't be the woman who wont pray but chooses to worry. When you miss out on the little things that make you happy, you are not going to be a complete woman and that in itself is a problem. The fact of the matter is we drive these men up the wall as well but they still continue to live a full life. Men have figured out that life wont pass them by, that the football match cannot be put on hold because his wife is acting up, that the world cup only comes every 4 years so he must choose happiness and enjoy this moment.

    Choose happiness, tell yourself that you wont play God in your life. You will make room for God in your life so that you can live again.

Stanley Ebai Enow is a Cameroonian rapper, radio and TV presenter, voice actor, and co-owner of the record label Motherland Empire.He is best known for his 2013 single "Hein Père". By getting nominated and subsequently winning the Best New Act category at the 2014 MTV Africa Music Awards, Enow became the first Cameroonian to achieve this feat.(Wikipedia)
^{(  In the Spirit of living a little i screamed my head off at his last concert in Silver Spring MD )}

kisses:)

Unattainable expectations

   So i started writing this post on monday (last  monday) but could not come up with a title. Its as simple as that, this morning i woke up and "unattainable expectations" summed it up.
     
      We cannot expect everyone to think and act like  us. It has taken me well over twenty years to learn that.To put it simply "expect very little". My husband spent the last seven or more years telling me this. He will constantly  remind me that i set extremely high expectations for people and that i was setting my self up to get really upset at the end of the day. If you are like me i tend to love, give, and sacrifice without any boundaries, and lived all this while thinking that everybody else had to be the same. Truth is i was setting my self up for heart break. I cannot even begin to tell you how that ruins so many things for you.The fact is there is only one you for a particular reason and purpose. Nobody will act, think, or react like you. Its normal to expect good from people, but thats not a guarantee because again not everyone can think and act like you. If you usually do things a certain way and expect the same from everyone, you will end up extremely frustrated. Do good because its the right thing to do. Do not wait for applause and recognition, do not stop doing the right thing because you never get recognition and a standing ovation.

   The least you expect out of man, the better for you. Nobody owes you anything, Set yourself free from the bondage of blame. Don't build unattainable expectations for anyone.Put all your trust and expectations in God and leave it at that.

   As mothers, the less we have to worry about about issues out of raising strong well grounded kids the better.  The only teachable people in your life are  your children, ( well the people you have the opportunity to guide closely and teach them right from wrong ) be a mother who teaches  about gratitude in a way that doesnt require a strong set of rules, let gratitude and a willing heart to do good to others be part of your everyday life. No mamipikin should be locked in the bondage of blame.


   My five year old son asked me the other day if i could bake pie, and some other complex desserts, when i did not respond he simply smiled and said " or we can just buy it from giant " hahaaaa thank God for wisdom. Thats exactly where it will be coming from.


Keep smiling,
Kisses.

Who are you fighting?

Who are you fighting? 
      
        Sometimes you are in a battle with the wrong opponent, throwing punches at the wrong opponent, getting ready for a match with the completely wrong opponent. 
Sometimes  you have got to put down the boxing gloves and ask yourself if you could be your own worst enemy. Put the gloves down and work on YOU! 

         Every choice you make has a consequence: friendships, relationships, and so on. You choose to let the wrong people around you and you will pay the consequence, you choose to love and you will get the reward, every single choice has a consequence. So before you pull out the gloves next time ask your self this question  " Who am i fighting? " 
      I say this to remind us that sometimes as mothers and because of how hectic it could be raising children in most cases without adequate help we turn to lash out on our innocent kids, spouses, siblings, coworkers,basically anybody who is in our immediate circle. We take out our issues on anyone that is available. We sulk about our mistakes and refuse to own up to them and consistently put up a fight with the wrong opponents.  

   I am learning that i must take responsibility for all my mistakes and learn from them so that i don't put up a fight with the wrong opponent anymore. I think thoroughly before making any decisions, i don't commit to tasks i cannot handle, i am extremely careful in making or keeping friendships, i do not compromise my faith and christian believes for any friendships and or relationships, and so many other changes i am working on personally. Its a personal journey and i only share because i know that other mamipikins face similar issues. 

What about if you are the problem?

Could it be you? 

Do you need a vacation? 

Do you need a break?  

Do you need a change of friendships?

Do you need a retreat?

Do you need to say a quick prayer? 

Do you need to apologize?

Do you need  to work on YOU?

     Let nomamipikin be caught in the wrong battles. It affects your ability to be a great parent when you refuse to take responsibility for your own actions. How then are you able to teach your children about integrity and honesty?

Kisses,