"First time mom"

     I would wait to include all this in a  book, but then I believe there is some mother 

out here that needs this post. To those who might not know, I am a mother of 4 wonderful children. All 4 delivered full term vaginally. When I had my first child everything was a complete shock, from breastfeeding, to bath time, to my countless attempts at bottle-feeding. Now I am one of the most persistent people you will ever meet. I had "my" expectations from pregnancy all the way to labor and beyond. My oldest child completely refused a bottle, I only survived because of the wonderful family God blessed us with. We bought every-bottle in the market and finally gave up. I breastfed her for 14months. Now that was my personal choice.(Breastfeeding requires patience and a ton of dedication. Don't loose your mind if you don't get it right the first time, there is no award to be won, no badges and or medals.)The transition from newborn to about 2 months was the toughest time in my life. 
    Bringing a newborn baby home is a very demanding task, even though its very special it can be a litttle nerve wrecking for most people. We should not ignore discussing what is important at our babyshowers, and or intimate mommy "hang outs". Talk about complete surprise when you come home and nothing is like the mommy blogs full of cute babies describes it. No one tells you about the reality of post partum blues, or how unbelievably sore you will be immediately your milk comes in,(breast milk of course), no one tells you that "baby latching" is an entire Grad-school program cramped up in a day and can be one of the most frustrating things you ever experience, no one prepares the new moms for the constant explaining that needs to be done (by those who choose to, personally I did not have the time) to your non-mom friends about why you are so tired, or unavailable to chat for hours on the phone, or that your outings will be timed. All these are not to scare our new "mamipikins" but to prepare them for a completely new and very deserving stage in life. Instead of focusing on how quick one must fix the outside; weight, skin, waist size and more postpartum, talk about the reality of bringing home a new baby to your expectant mothers, talk about sex drive and or the lack there of, encourage each other to accept the process of gradual weight loss, and staying positive reminding them that just like pregnancy it does not last forever. 

   Let nomamipikin  be left behind. We will prepare, support and help transition our new mothers. Coming to visit much later and bringing in a list of critiques for the new mom is definitely the wrong way to do it, new moms love advice but it gets overwhelming when. I am working on  a "must know" list for all expectant and new mothers, lots of input from my other mamipikins will be awesome.

Kisses.  

Who's counting?

    A lot of women get bullied for having kids, not having kids, not having enough kids, having too many kids, LAWD! Is there an ideal situation? Whats ideal? What is enough? Are we on a timeline? Are you married to all the women in the Costco line who stare at you hard when you have all your four of your kids in line? Are you married to the ones who make you the center of their little get togethers? Why are we so concerned with other women's reproductive systems and or relationships? What's the obsession? So what if someone is in their 30's without any kids yet? Are you God?

   Women get bullied about something so personal as having children. We bully the single mothers for not having a husband, we bully those with one child for not having enough kids, we bully those without the ideal number of kids, in most cases mothers like me who have 4 or more get the most harassment, (pure madness, even from family members who don't know where you and the kids lay your head at night). We bully newly weds who are not on our "ideal" childbearing timeline. We bully those women who are struggling in private with conception. The harassment sometimes is very subtle, but definitely will hurt especially women who are struggling with conception.

    The bottom line is everybody should stay in their lane, focus on YOU and YOUR HOUSEHOLD! If you constantly complain about women with no children, too many children, (whatever number is ideal, I don't know) single parents, and more, Please take a moment and reevaluate your life, its certain that you have internal issues, you are not happy with YOU and therefore everyone else must endure it.

Let nomamipikin  be caught up feeling guilty, worried, heartbroken, or uncomfortable in a conversation about your family. Do not give room to any self appointed critics.  Let nomamipikin hurt another woman on the discussion on childbearing. Respect each others personal choice on childbearing, its a private and personal issue.

Love and kisses.

Permission to Love YOU

   Good morning my loves. I miss writing and sharing sooo bad. Life with 4 kids is a whole different ball game. Not complaining at all, We are super blessed to have our newest soldier and the other privates. 
   Its a cold morning in Germantown MD, (my part of the world) this morning and I am getting ready to figure out if it will be a cereal kind of morning or full out breakfast at my home. But before breakfast and my sure ability to rant, I will like to share a little bit of what life is like so far with 4 young children. Each child in my house is a complete individual. They are as different from each as you can imagine. They have completely different ideas, coping skills, hobbies and temperament. I have 4 different nations and sometimes there can be war, haha to say the least. The one true nature and character trait that they do share is great self confidence. We insist on Loving YOU and making the best of every situation in my home. With great self confidence you have great self esteem and that eliminates a ton of issues that we are facing in todays world.

"My team"

    Anyhow  all this brings me to my mamipikins. Why are we not able to Love ourselves enough? we can Love everybody around us deeply but constantly need permission to love the Woman in us? We are able to smile and give compliments to everyone around us but still need permission to Love our own flaws and all.

   YOU need to LOVE YOU. Some women wont love themselves because they are waiting to be a certain size, color, shape, and more. We are waiting for the man of our dreams to Love us then we can start Loving us too. We are waiting to be 3 shades lighter then we can Love ourselves. We are waiting to get back to our Pre-pregnancy or baby weight then we can celebrate and Love ourselves. We are waiting to buy a new home or move to a new neighborhood then we can start loving ourselves. We have an endless lists of "wants" that have to be accomplished before we love the woman in us. Some how we have decided that until we check off each item on a mysterious list created by society on what a good  woman or accomplished woman is we wont love ourselves. A woman who Loves herself is a successful Woman, a fearless leader, a phenomenal woman. A woman who Loves herself has freed her mind from the burden of hoping,wanting and even needing anyone else to accept all of her.

  Let nomamipikin be left behind because they are waiting for permission from society to Love themselves. Love the woman in You! Love the mother in You. Be fearless and Bold.
#Nomamipikinleftbehind!

Kisses