Miscarriage ..........

   Its 5 am and I have been up all night because my 8 year old has a stomach bug. That's a story for another post.
    Anyhow that brings me to a sequel of sorts on child bearing and more...  http://nomamipikinleftbehind.blogspot.com/2015/04/whos-counting.html?m=1 (Read here).
    Yesterday I shared on my personal Facebook page ( for those who follow me) that I had gone through 5 pregnancies and had 4 live births. And a lot of things or emotions came up because it took me back to my miscarriage. I had a miscarriage some 5/6 years ago. I remember how devastated I was and very heart broken. I also  recount how everyone ( well mostly the adult women around me) insisted that I keep the miscarriage a secret. I remember hearing them say things like "oh don't worry, it was not a real baby yet". And a whole lot more that I would rather forget.  In all the harassment, I was blessed with a solid set of sisters/friends  thankfully, who supported me and stayed on me with so much love to make sure I went through the loss with their support.

     A miscarriage is very devastating. It feels like a part you leaves when the baby doesn't make it to term.You go through so many emotions. Its that pain that only God can truly heal. A lot of women go through miscarriages and cannot heal completely because our culture doesn't promote expressing your pain in regards to a miscarriage. You have women who are going through a whole lot of pain, struggling to conceive and cannot share on the struggle of their journey because our society harasses women about their wombs, its contents and use. You are not given the opportunity to share about the pain of a miscarriage and therefore complete restoration and healing never really takes place. For Gods sake a miscarriage is not a taboo. A miscarriage is a painful loss of a child. You can refuse to call it that, but to that mother that's exactly what it is.

     Your job as a sister, mother, friend, spouse, etc is to be a shoulder to lean on. Encourage the woman in need to seek professional help if necessary because sometimes the trauma requires more than a couple of conversations with your best friends.  And if you go through a miscarriage please do not live in fear, and do not loose hope. Our God is gracious and would never forsake you. Take the time to heal and do not do it on anyone else's timing. If you can, seek help from miscarriage help groups. You are welcome to share as you please. You are not alone and should NOT DIE IN SILENCE.

   To you who has gone through a miscarriage or several miscarriages. I stand on behalf of all the people who have hurt you, disappointed you, questioned your WOMB, and judged you by your circumstances. I stand to say SORRY. I apologize for the hurt, I also apologize and hope that you can forgive not only those who did not support you during this difficult time, but you can forgive yourself and live again with hope that the Lord has not forgotten you.

     A lot of women make the conscious choice not to have any children and it should be respected. I also ask we practice to stay out of each others wombs. You don't question my choices on child bearing and I promise not to question your decision not to bear children. You don't question any one's timing on when to bear children and you don't play WOMB police.

     Cheers to a beautiful holiday. Love a woman today, regardless of their WOMB choice.

Nomamipikinleftbehind

kisses

Guadeloupe Experience. #NNN40reasons

   Guadeloupe Experience.
#NNN40reasons 

     Every now and then we need a break from everything. Pack up your bags and take a little get away from your children, work and everything that keeps you on a schedule. Taking a break is mandatory, its not a luxury especially for those mothers who work from home. I used to think that taking a vacation was a luxury. Huge misconception. Someone lied when they convinced you that being a mom meant not being able to live again. They lied when they told you that you couldn't be your most authentic self at all times. They also lied when they tried to convince you that you didn't deserve to live a little because you are supposed to die by heart break and sadness caused by "mommies guilt". 
     Don't let these stereotypes stop you from soaring in your purpose fearlessly today. Take a break and live a little if you can. If you can take the help offered and give yourself a chance to be YOU. Give your self a break every now and then. You absolutely deserve it. Give up a pair of loubs, give up $500 hairdos, give something up and take a break AWAY from your routine. Let go of parental guilt. You are allowed to make a living for your family. You are also allowed to take a breather when needed. You are doing what you need to do in order to take care of your family, there should be no guilt involved. 

    This time it was even a little more special. We gave a beautiful toast in honor of my better half, my partner and best friend. Apart from eating at every road side joint we could find, we had the opportunity to bond as a family. This trip was filled with so much laughter and love.

Photos by Award winning photographer:
http://drevizionmedia.com/ #Drevizion 
Location: Guadeloupe 

Snippets of my Guadeloupe Experience. 

Enjoy.

We had a blast.... Hope you can pack up your bags and take a break sooner than later. 

kisses,

       Have you registered for Mamipikintalks Yet ? What are you waiting for? 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mamipikin-talks-3rd-edition-tickets-28901433967

Stand for something that is bigger than you.

    Today my spirit is a little angry so bear with me. For those who don't know, there is civil unrest and turmoil going on right now in English Cameroon. Fighting to abolish marginalization of Anglophone Cameroon. Its very painful to watch kids being teargassed men and women being beaten in the streets because they are standing for what they believe in.
For those of us out of Cameroon in the diaspora, we forget how blessed we are sometimes. We live in a country where we can seat in a room and empower each other, but yet we take it for granted. We live in a country where a woman can run for president and we don't know how darn blessed we are. We are given all the tools to be the best we can be. We are not here by chance, so please whatever you have chosen to do in this time, your job, purpose, career etc do it like you have never before because it's a blessing. Take the rest of the day and ask yourself what you did to not be in the streets of Cameroon right now being teargassed, kicked around and tortured? Are you anymore special than the ladies in the streets being beaten, mothers who can't sleep for fear of their children out of the home? Are you not Cameroonian or of Cameroonian decent? Take this time to reflect on what you can do to make sure that your walk in this LIFE is touching and affecting someone else and not just you.

   Your purpose has got to be bigger than you. As a mother what are you doing to change and impact your community? Who are you giving back to? Who is better today because of your generousity? You have been given all that you need to stand out and be a blessing to SOMEONE ELSE. It starts with YOU.

  Mamipikintalks is my effort to break the silence in our communities. Don't be on the sidelines. Stand for something that is bigger than you.

Happy Monday.
Eurykah.